Maybe it’s because I’m starring 30 in the face and that means I can’t use my age as an excuse anymore or maybe it’s because my circle is changing; marriage, babies, house warming’s, moving for career and love and new opportunities, I realize I’m growing up – if not grown already!  Seemingly in a rush I’m thinking of wedding venues, dress styles, house hunting in my head and designing a bombastic pad that will somehow always be immaculately clean, filled with children and a stripper pole in the master bedroom.  What’s the chase to have it all?  In my moments of anxiety I’m more grateful for my moments of stillness and clarity – not to mention a good glass of wine chill my increasing nerves.  

I keep reminding myself that nothing comes before it’s time.  I’m on this quest for my ideal media career, I’m chasing my Masters Degree, have become increasingly health conscious and bringing up marriage to my boyfriend so much that you would think he proposed already.  What, don’t judge me, this is my space for honesty and my reality check!  I have to give him all the credit for handling it like a pro – because let’s face it; I’m not ready for marriage and babies! I’m ready to get a few fish and a growing bank account where I feel stable and comfortable enough to actually commit to those things.  They ain’t cheap! Don’t worry, I’ve already relented from the marriage talks and apologized for my recent behaviour, because the one thing I have learnt is, when you ask for things they really happen and when they start you can’t back down because you’re the one that set the entire thing in motion.

As I’m typing this I keep having flashes of Carrie typing on her Mac questioning, confessing and professing the week’s learning concerning, love, life, sex, friends and foes.  Something needs to be said for the ability to strip down all the fancy glamorous wants and see things as they are – I’m going to be 30 in a few weeks and while planning is awesome, life has a way of navigating its own course according to His plan.  This is why I’m faithful in knowing that I have encountered more wins than losses and continue to use those losses as a foundation to keep pushing forward.Read more at  Zeeta.ca


I hope that you are all well and that you are gearing up and preparing for the new fall season that is quickly approaching. Weather it’s back to school and or if it’s time for your loved ones or children to head back to school and if you find yourself questioning where you are in life, are these the cards you’ve been dealt? Is there more? What’s going on? Should it be so hard? What’s next? Where do I go from here?

Believe me, all these questions are not only normal, they’re right on time. I have noticed and through an un-scientific poll of my peers and friends, it happens to us all and around this time of the year. With new seasons come new thoughts, questions and changes.

It happens to me on a semi-regular basis! Believe me my friends have their hands full when I’m going through it…but the day after the turmoil in my mind I am able to let the dust settle and see clearly once again. I do have some suggestions about successfully managing these potentially confidence breaking self talks that have you questioning and revamping everything.

First off, take a breath …it really is OK. If you are feeling that you need to make changes, it’s maybe because you really have to – go with it. Let the powers that be guide you, because there are always answers when you try listening and looking for them. Speak what your desires are to the universe. It’s a magnificent thing that happens – once you speak your dreams to the universe. It may not happen right away, but there are answers and things that will present themselves to you to make you work towards it and or show you that what you are asking for may not be for you.

Also, subconsciously the minute you admit and speak your truth to the universe you will begin to work towards it. You have to believe in your abilities and work towards that ambition and energy coming to fruition. It is not only possible, it is doable.

A step further to speaking your truth is creating a vision board. These boards can present themselves in a variety of ways. If you are more visual cute out pictures of things you want and want to aspire for. This is not being materialistic, this is being visual. (Honestly be realistic in your desires but one the less put it out there!) An example would be if you cut out a picture of an Aston Martin and put it on your board, the reality is you may not get that vehicle but you may have a car paid off in full and not have to worry about payments. It’s all about perspective. It may be easier to write out your goals instead of having images. Or combine the two – I have found it best for me to combine them. Seeing images and the words next to them are motivating for me. You may be on the fence about this, but humor me and try it. By writing down what you really want you are braving your own self and admitting that you want more. At times, we are our own worst enemy. This is a way to be honest with yourself and really reach for the things in life no matter how big, small, materialistic, academic outrageous…just do it!

You can separate your goals in many ways; financial, personal, career for example. It will also make it easier to stay on track and devote the right time and energy towards them respectively.
I do know that this can be a challenging and frustrating time when you are thinking and seeking a difference but it can also be a very rewarding and inspiring time. I wish you all luck and encourage you to push yourself. The changes doesn’t have be huge, but honor yourself by not asking the “What if’s” and knowing the answers!

Good luck!Read more at Zeeta.ca


I trust that all is well and that last week’s heat dome didn’t melt away your love for the summer! It was a bit of a challenge but water is definitely our best friend in situations like that. It’s been a minute and I would like to say, it’s not because of a lack of topics and or time…it is due to the fact that my mind is racing with topics and I couldn’t settle on one to just start writing about! Therefore, in the end, which is completely stupid, I didn’t write at all! It’s almost like that feeling of being overwhelmed with having too many things to do so you procrastinate – but once you actually start you see that it’s not as daunting as you thought it would be and then just get pissed at yourself for waiting so long to start! (That’s pretty much how I feel about dieting! – Tomorrow’s always the best day to start!)

Speaking of which, my sister shed some light to me on her take on being healthier and I think it’s a simple and realistic approach … here it is: Honestly, we are busy people. Booked, double booked and always running from work to events to meetings etc. Well there’s no need to feel badly about being on the run, just be mindful. If you know you are going to have a hectic day – think ahead and brown bag nutritious snacks and even a good ole’ turkey sandwich. It will fuel you with the right nutrients, it won’t pump your body with preservative friendly alternatives and it’ll save you time and money as you move through your day. 

This isn’t anything new, but when she said to me. “don’t get overwhelmed just take it one meal at a time. And, per meal if you can think about how you can do something to make it a bit healthier for you then you’re on to something.” If you know you have a birthday dinner (where there will be mouth watering cake) go easy on your lunch so you don’t have to feel bad when you go in … and be reasonable with the amount you’re having. I don’t see the point in excluding things from your palate. My take on that is that you’ll start craving and then you might binge so have a bit, not don’t be excessive. 

It’s no lie and or shouldn’t come as a big shock that I’m overweight…I’m a plus size model! I’ve been able to make something that I use to use as a measuring stick of my own success (or lack thereof) as a viable and awesomely empowering career! It has taken me quite some time to be open and comfortable enough to talk about this, but this is a place where I’m being honest so why not! 

When I was younger I would base everything, success, failures, popularity etc, on my weight and compare it to my sister’s who are both older than me and slimmer. I hated it. But this is who I am, I’m been thicker, or juicier, as I like to call it,  than the average girl my entire life. I’m healthy and don’t have any weight associated issues…I’m just thick. It didn’t dawn on my to look at my lineage until later on in life and see that I am a reflection of my family. I went to Trinidad and met aunties and cousins and realized then that it was absolutely normal for me to be a bit thicker. So bit by bit I started to get over it…but it still plagues me.

It is because of pop culture? The media? Magazine representations? Clothing stores? All the above? Probably…maybe that’s why I feel like this is my calling. If I can help even one young person embrace who they are then I am doing what I’m meant to do. It’s not an easy process and we always find something to criticize but I truly believe that having a bit of meat on you and being healthy is more attractive than having an emaciated and frail look to you. So, I’m on a new quest to be healthier and lose between 20 to 30 pounds. (I shouldn’t say lose, but ‘put off’ because once it’s gone, I really don’t want to find it again!!!) 

To celebrate my success, I think I’m going to hit the beach! I will still be at a size where I would be technically considered a plus size model and I’m curious to see what the opportunities are like for me then. So, I implore you to get involved with me and see if you can commit to making healthier choices and feeling better about your overall body. I’m not doing this because of peer pressure, or an insecurity – I would be happier with that size and so I’m doing it for me. I think that’s an important place to start.Read more at Zeeta.ca

Crushin' On Fyah

So – I can admit it< <<I’ve said it before and it doesn’t come as a surprise to my close knit group of friends.  I have a bonafide crush on Walshy Fyah.  It’s not at all for the reasons some of you may think. Yes, his high yellow self is adorable and all but that’s not why.  He’s charismatic and charming but that’s not why either.  He gives a good interview and you don’t have to pull teeth to have him elaborate – as an interviewer that alone can get someone crushing!  But, alas, that’s not why either.  He’s a good DJ, he and his crew are Grammy award winning good, but again that’s not why.

Chiney party.  As I did this past weekend.  The energy of the crowd was interesting, for the lack of a better term.  The people looked great, everyone seemed like they wanted to have a good time and come through wearing the theme colour: white but something was missing.  An energy was clearly absent. Black Chiney stepped to the set and worked at getting the crowds enthusiasm up and it worked.  Dancing, sweating and carryin’ on baad started.  But what struck me, was what Walshy was saying – as he has pointed out to me in our interview we did a few months back for MontrealDanchallTV; Walshy not only likes to have his patrons have a good time, but the nuggets of information he’s dropping when he’s on the mic is to uplift people and help them leave their worries behind for those few hours.  And he seems to be successful at that.  Talking a bunch of nonsense wouldn’t really be his style, but bigging people up various things and accomplishments makes the crowd feel good and at ease.  I appreciate that.

In the few years I’ve been around I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a number of people that we, globally measure as successful at their craft.  These artists, singers, rappers, DJs are all in the spot light and are some what coaxed to answer questions with a certain amount of training. I pride myself on asking questions that are different, not regular run-of-the-mill type questions so the reader, listener or viewer can get to see deeper into them and hopefully respect them the way I do, not only for their work but for their contribution to the craft.  It was a pleasure and a delight to accomplish that with Walshy, he made it easy to develop a conversation while the camera was rolling and makes me feel as though this is what he would be like, for the most part, in real life.  That’s what the crush is about.  Maybe it’s not a crush, maybe it’s real recognizing real. Check out Mama Z Blog at Zeeta.ca